IRAQI PICTURES CONTINUED

Just a couple rounds used to make IED's with.... they were found, and we blew them up.... thats not what i like about this picture or why i posted it.... after looking thru hundreds of photos from this deployment, it donned on me why this place feels so different then home... im from Florida, so im use to the heat, sand, and palm trees... its the colors... almost every where you go in this country, everything is a bland pastel color.... the ground, the wall, the buildings, everything.... the little color that there is in the country sticks out like a sore thumb... you'll see in a later pic...



The drivers from team rock posing with their trucks the day before we left...



You know i wish Iraqi's didn't act so gay about their mosque's.... i really wish i could go into some of them and just check um out... they're pretty cool looking buildings.... i don't know.... like if a non believer goes into your mosque the whole Muslim fate will be doomed in spite of you for allowing it... or maybe its because im not worthy... but really, what would Allah do if i went into a mosque... you think Allah would shun a man of fate because he let a Christian into a mosque.... really... if thats the case Allah sucks....



You can see with this pic what color does to this country.... it looks out of place... this is the equivalent to a convenient store back in the states... when you just want some snacks and drinks for the road.... or a pack of smokes... Iraq's go to there neighborhood shopkeeper to get them... these little shack stores are all over Baghdad...



This is the voluntary teabag.... pants on variety.... lol.... Walters is a retard



Me and Walters doing a little fight promoting... hes a heavy hitter but im in his head... i can scare him with intimidation.... i also have the intellect and game planning ability in my favor.... he has about one and a half rounds in his tank before hes too tired to hold his hands up.... ill coast thru the first two rounds.... the third round im going to destroy him...



These are the EOD guys company shirts... i don't know that they were sanctioned by the company, but the Enlisted guys love them... i think its funny...



This is the toy store... if you need a big stuffed giraffe, this is the place to go... right under a bridge on the median... lol.... warning, the selection sucks...



Playing army in traffic.... cross your fingers and hope no one has a bomb in their car.... those make for sad face days....



Look at the colors.... wow... in a county devoid of bright color, this is the spot to completely transcend the pastel reality... i wish i could have a bright yellow garbage can...

RANDOM IRAQ PICTURES

well, i have a shit ton of pic from this deployment but it takes so long to upload them here that i avoid it.... I'm going to start slowly posting pic post... i really enjoy taking pictures. i also have a bunch of videos, but those will have to wait until i redeploy and have normal Internet.... this is the first batch...




this is deployment bear.... sometime before my first deployment i was packing to go to the field and my boys were helping me... Mikey, went to his room and grabbed this bear and told me to take him with me so that i would remember him... since then this bear has gone everywhere... if my family isn't there with me, the bear is... deployment bear has been to every field problem, NTC, WLC, deployment, and everywhere else that Ive gone... for a while he lived in my truck... i hung him from where the rear view mirror would have been and when i wasn't in the truck he would hold my head set.... now he lives on my bed, but I'm thinking about moving him back to the truck...



this was just some glass house mout training.... i like the pic so I'm posting it...



i really don't know whats going on here... i see the one guy sleeping.... i don't know... what do you all think...



me and a couple of my old soldiers.... they were both gunners and it was cold that night/morning.... so i made them wear that gay head thing... the picture makes them look alot cooler then in real life... they actually looked really stupid...



this is the same guy that was sleeping in the other picture.... i guess he can sleep thru anything..... or doing anything...



this was a close up of one of the hands at the cross sabers.... Iraq has alot of cool sculptures and architecture.... i think this stuffs pretty cool...



i just liked how the mosque was the back drop for the military trucks.... it kinda feels symbolic to me...



playing the hurry up and wait game in between missions....



one of the soldiers in our platoon punched his computer screen and cracked it.... he was being a dumb ass... the computer was broke and to my knowledge unfixable... so he decided to put an axe through it and buy a new one the next day.... lol....



this is Walters... I'm trying to develop him into a leader... hes a crazy, crazy infantryman.... i try to control his but its impossible.... the worst part about it is hes so damn likable and funny... i cant get mad at him....

ILLUSION OF CONTROL

I don’t know how others do it... its not something that’s openly talked about among soldiers... how do other people deal with being daily placed in situations where at any moment they could die... do they just suppress that fact, or do they just not realize the gravity of the situation... I know what I do... I think mitigation... I do the things that we are trained to do to lessen the chance of getting hit... I'm always focused... I'm always thinking... when out on the road, I'm paranoid... I try to think like the enemy... I try to see things from there eyes... tactical things... I look for our vulnerabilities.... I think that if I can recognize them, then I can mitigate a potential attack... but in the end, all I'm doing is creating an illusion of control... this illusion of control is every where... I'm the TC (truck commander) of our lead truck in our convoys... the TC is in control of their truck... he controls the driver by directing him when to turn, to veer right or left, speed up, slow down, go, stop, everything... he controls the gunner.... stop traffic on the left/right, clear traffic in front of us, change sector of fire to the 3,6,9,12, watch this guy, watch that car... use your horn, use your laser, spot light this, barrel on that, everything.... he controls his dismounts.... change radio freq to this, watch that guy behind us... help us back up, fix the radio, dismount.... this is the job of the TC... he is constantly thinking and ensuring that his truck is doing the right thing... it kinda seems like mental busy work... always checking then double checking... the soldiers in his truck rely on his guidance... all of this creates a false sense of control for the TC, cause in the grand scheme of things, I really control nothing... I could do all the right things and get everybody in my truck killed... I could do all the wrong things and everybody lives... there is no "do this and you will live"... everything is based off recent trends... nothing is guaranteed....

I respond to an EFP attack that enters thru the TC door and rides the dash board all the way to the drivers door.... for the next week I'm subconsciously trying to sit as far back in my seat as I can... its like I'm unknowingly afraid of my dashboard now... them we respond to another EFP that enters the TC door and rips the TC and drivers seats completely off... it rides along the backs of both the TC and the driver... now for the next week I'm trying to sit as close to the dash as possible... I respond to attacks and the only thing I see is the blood... its like everything else is in black in white but the blood is in color, and it covers everything.... I responded last night to an EFP attack that hit the TC and driver.... it’s like being hit by a missile... blood was everywhere... I looked inside the truck and the smell was deadly... it was a hot, explosive/blood/death smell... it was sickening.... blood doesn’t bother me.... it never has... but when I look into a truck that’s covered in blood, all I see is my truck... all I see is my soldiers and I... I see where we sit and who would have died had we been the ones to take that route first... I look around the area... I try to answer the unanswerable... how do I stop this from happening to us... its impossible.... stepping back and looking at the scene I see 10-15 different places where they could have attacked from... the gravity of it all sets in... Im at the grace of luck... does god have a say in this... maybe... I cant say for sure... i can say that i don’t have a say... i can scan, i can look, i can do everything right... but that doesn’t stop it... trying to find an IED/EFP in Iraq is like trying to find the proverbial needle in the hay stack....

when you do a job like PSD or other convoy operations like this, you can go months with nothing happening to your convoy... you don’t see any action what so ever... you get the Intel reports the morning of the mission, but they are really vague... they are picture less and come a crossed with a news report style writing.... they pretty much just cover the facts of the situations... when you read these for months and see nothing you become desensitized to the chaos an attack creates... you read that an IED struck the driver side of the last truck in a convoy and that one soldier died and 2 were wounded... that’s it... you read these 1000 times over... but when you see the truck and the blood, and the faces, it has a bigger impact... its not just words on paper anymore... its people...

it doesn’t help that this war is fought on two fronts... you have the soldiers on the ground.... we patrol the streets and give our lives, but have little said in what we can and cant do.... the other front this war is fought on is in our government and the upper echelons of our military... our TTP's (tactics, techniques, and procedures) ROE (rules of engagement) and EOF (escalation of force) are dictated on this front.... its very frustrating.... hearts and minds isn’t the preferred tactic of us on the ground... it feels like we are handcuffed sometimes by the higher ups... i don’t like placating to the Iraqi’s at my own expense... now I'm not arguing the long term affect hearts and minds can have... the short term is where we suffer... preventing us from being able to fully utilize our assets and to mitigate risk at the expensive of Iraqi's is what there plan forces us to accept.... hearts and minds forces us to give in and risk our safety and security by enabling freedoms to the Iraqi's that put us in tough situations.... back a few years ago the notion that civilian traffic can come close to your convoy was unheard of... they knew better... anything closer then 50-60 meters was considered a hostile act... now we are told we are to allow civilian cars to break into our convoys and to let there traffic flow with us... we aren’t to inconvenience them... when we have to stop and cordon off something... anything... we are to allow the traffic to flow along side us.... sometimes we have to sit on a site for 3-4 hours.... so for 3-4 hours we give the enemy time to put a big bomb in a car and drive past us and blow up... this isn’t a tactic the enemy isn’t familiar with.... this decision is decided by the higher ups... my contention is that if you want me to stand on the road for 3 hours hoping no one wants to blow me up today, then you stand with me... if your going to assume the responsibility of the decision, then you should reap the consequences of it as well...

Feeling like you have no control is a scary feeling... especially when you’re charged with keeping others alive..... having to explain the circumstances surrounding a death of one of my soldiers to a wife or a mom is terrifying to me... ultimately i make the decisions that decide weather they live or die... what i have trouble coming to terms with is that right and wrong decisions are decided after the fact.... in the moment, there is no right or wrong, there is no text book answer.... you make a decision... the situation plays out.... then when everything is done, when reflecting on those decisions, you are able to see what was right and what was wrong.... right and wrong tactical moves are largely hindsight determinations...

my current assignment allows me to see almost on a daily basis the devastating affect IED's/EFP's have... its crazy... when you get hit, its like being caught in a tornado.... you let it run its course and then if your still around you try to pick up the pieces..... i hate rolling up to a convoy who was just hit and seeing the faces of the guys on scene.... seeing the blood from the ones who were flown out.... it angers me... i hate seeing the faces of Iraqi's when i make them wait... when i don’t let them do what they want and i restrict them... i could care less what we are suppose to do, if i don’t want to let the traffic flow then i wont... ill take an ass chewing if it comes to that....

being in Iraq this time around feels like I'm standing in a pitch black room with all of my friends and family... all we can see is each other nothing else.... every once in a while someone else in the room that we cant see sucker punches one of us.... the sucker punch kills, and dismembers routinely... as soon as they appear they disappear right back into the darkness of the room... all we know is that now one of us is badly hurt or dead and we cant see who did it... all we really want is for someone to turn on the fucking light... but the light never comes on... we are left standing and waiting for the next sucker punch... this goes on for a year...



this is the driver side door after an EFP attack...



inside the door you can see the chaos an attack creates inside a truck... you can also see the blood stains... these pictures really don't do it justice... having a panoramic view of everything and experiencing the smells makes these attack 100 times more vivid....



this is the entry point... that's about the size of a bowling ball...

in the end, we control nothing.... these images remind me of that fact...

NUT TAPPING

constant fear, constant paranoia, never feeling relaxed and never letting your guard down.... that’s life in my new platoon.... everyday, every waking minute, your watching.... waiting... anticipating.... you never know where its going to come from.... who it will come from, or when it will happen, but your ready.... always ready.... and it still happens....

its like walking thru a mine field some days... its a psychological mind fuck... you can try to avoid it... you can insist that your not a part of it... nothing works.... no matter how ready you are.... how prepared.... how focused you are on stopping it... you cant...its bigger then all of us....once you realize that you can realize this... its actually brilliant... every aspect of it... its like god himself sanctioned it and now its blessed by his hand... once you accept it as inevitable, and only then... you become able to understand how magnificent it is....

Its powerful and gentle, its infuriating and calming, and its really painful... you go from thinking impulsively to thinking rationally.... you transverse many complete spectrums throughout the course of its wrath.... its actually amazing....

Nut tapping is the act of hitting someone in the balls intentionally and for no reason... lol... ok give me a minute to explain.... I know what your thinking... to most of you, its unheard of... but in our world... its just something we know we have to deal with... at any giving time, any day, someone, anyone can and will for no reason lightly tap you in the balls and watch you collapse to the ground in pain.... they will then start laughing hysterically at you because you are completely helpless and furious, but you cant do anything about it.... you cant move... this sounds evil... you might even be having a hard time connecting what I wrote above to what im writing here... your probably thinking.... how could anyone think this is amazing, or brilliant, or that god in someway has had a hand in this...
If this is indeed what you’re thinking.... you haven’t experienced this from both side, multiple times... you have been subjected to it on a constant basis.... because of that you probably haven’t devoted much thought to it.... therefore, you can’t see or understand how awesome nut tapping is....

I dont know why... and i cant intelligently explain it... but someone getting hit in the balls is one of the funniest things in the world... its one of those rare things that it doesn’t matter how many times it happens or how many different ways... it doesn’t matter if its the same every time... it never loses its humor... how many things can we say that about... honestly.... tell someone the funniest joke you know 100 times and see how funny it is the hundredth time.... but you hit someone in the nuts 100 times... its still every bit as funny as the first time... its really weird... someone breaks his leg and is in a lot of pain and cant move... NOT FUNNY...SCARY.... but someone getting whacked in the balls, hilarious... WHY??? I don’t get it...

another amazing aspect to the nut tap is this... as soon as your hit your knees buckle... your legs lose the ability to support your own body weight... you fall to the ground... you are outraged immediately... the only thing you can think of is how you want to kill the person responsible.... on top of all the pain... you have 10 guys standing around you laughing so hard they're having a hard time standing up on there own... some of them may even fall over because they’re laughing so hard....lol.. this just makes you more enraged.... but you cant move... you try impulsively to get up and go after the fag who did this to you, but as soon as you slightly move one of your legs... or your hips, sharp pains shoot thru your body... so you lay motionless... helpless... its at this point you transition into phase two of your recovery... this where a higher powers influence is felt... phase two recovery time is directly correlated with your state of mind... once you reach phase two you realize there’s nothing you can do... you close your eyes and you block out everything around you... you start to control your breathing and start thinking rationally again... the impulse is gone... your calm.... you have to be... you cant recover until you allow your body and mind to relax... you lay there for 3-15 minutes (as long as it takes you to get over the fact that you were attacked without provocation)....

another beautiful element is that the tap it self is very light... your not trying to pop a ball open, or bust his sack... accuracy is key... as long as you can get a direct unsuspecting hit... your good... you win.... he’s down... its crazy how the slightest and easiest of taps can render someone completely helpless for up to 15 min.... that’s crazy...lol, its awesome...

our squad hasn’t gone a full day yet without someone falling victim to this epidemic... some have tried to say that they aren’t playing... they think that if they don’t do it to anyone, it wont happen to them... oh, not true... everyone is in play... you can posture all day long... all year long for that matter... if you don’t want to hit someone back... that’s your prerogative... but that doesn’t mean your not getting hit... this mentality may seem like a dick move by the attacker (pun intended), but everyone at some point will embraces the nut tap...

now after reflecting on our little game I noticed that its gender specific... ive tried to think of a way to incorporate females into the game on some level... im not talking about a mixed gender game... my wife would leave me... but a game that females could play amongst themselves.... the problem is that females don’t have the equipment... I had a hard time coming up with where a female could hit a female to leave them completely paralyzed for a short period of time while on the ground in pain.....

Throat punches..... I think it would work... now all I need is a group of females to test my theory.... if your a female and your reading this.... give this a try.... call all your girlfriends, and schedule a girls night in... have a group of 5-7 of your girls come over to your house for the evening... don’t tell them a thing about the game... its more fun if they just find out about the game on there own... pick your target, and start stalking her... this tactic is used in nut tapping and works well.... being that she will be new to this game she will be really easy to set up... get up close to your target and engage her in small talk... once the moments right point to a picture on your wall to your right or left... she will look at it, and walk right into your trap... once she take her eyes off of you, strike her in the throat... right in the middle of the neck... watch as her legs buckle underneath her and she falls to the ground... then start laughing hysterically and taunting her.... you could say things like "I got you good fucker" or "ha-ha in your face fag"....

this could be the start of a very good game and friendship building, cause lets be honest... if you friend cant take a unprovoked throat strike and walk it off afterwards without getting butt hurt... how much of a friend could they have been... im just saying...